Below are a list of some of the most quoteable golf quotes. For more stories, tips, hints, quotes and humor, pick up a copy of Who’s Your Caddy? from PracticeRange.com.

  • “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps” -Tiger Woods
  • “Green and black go well together, don’t they?” - Tiger Woods
  • “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” - Mark Twain
  • “In golf, the customs and etiquette and decorum are as important as the rules of play.” - Bobby Jones
  • “I never learned anything from a match that I won.” - Bobby Jones
  • “Nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything.” - Jack Nicklaus
  • “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” - Ben Hogan
  • “Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot.” - Sam Snead
  • “Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.” - Dave Hill
  • “There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.” - Lee Trevino
  • “Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.” - Harry Vardon
  • “Hit the shot you know you can hit, not the one you think you should.” - Dr. Bob Rotella
  • “Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn’t float too well.” - Craig Stadler
  • “You know what they say about big hitters…the woods are full of them.” - Jimmy Demaret
  • “Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.” - Bruce Crampton
  • “I’ll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.” - Bruce Lansky
  • “Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.” - Henry Cotton
  • “No matter how good you get you can always get better and that’s the exciting part” - Tiger Woods
  • “I don’t think I’ve ever stepped into a gym - they won’t let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn’t as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I’d look anorexic.” - John Daly
  • “All my exes wear Rolexes.” - John Daly
  • “I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.” - John Daly
  • “My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.” - Nick Faldo, talking about John Daly
  • “The only way to enjoy golf is to be a masochist. Go out and beat yourself to death.” - Howard Keel
  • “Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at it” - Jimmy Demaret
  • “When it’s breezy, hit it easy.” - Davis Love, Jr.
  • “Is my friend in the bunker or is the bastard on the green?” - Anonymous
  • “Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.” - Paul Harvey
  • “One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.” - George Archer
  • “It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” - Mark Twain 
  • “The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.” - George Deukmejian 
  • “Golf is a fascinating game.It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.” - Ted Ray
  • “Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.” - A.A. Milne